Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
