Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My bed smells like the plague
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
