pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
