you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
