i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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