Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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