no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize