he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
