I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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