now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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