he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
