i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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