Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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