he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
