They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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