batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
