You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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