Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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