I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is wine microwaveable?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
