she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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