She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
