But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
