he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
