why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
