You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize