you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
