no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
