And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
