Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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