i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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