i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
