I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
