Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
