It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
where are you?
Hypothermia
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize