I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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