Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
