heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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