I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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