gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
