This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
