So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
