So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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