the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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