id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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