I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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