Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
