No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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