Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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