You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
