Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
