you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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