this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
