Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
