Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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