Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
