the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize