Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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