i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
