Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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