Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
