...so i touched it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
