Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize
