Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
