I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize