And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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