do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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