hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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