Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
