She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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