Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
