Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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